Miscarriages Suck! No matter how many times you’ve gone down this road. No matter how many kids you already have. No matter how old you are. It still hurts… a lot. It still breaks your heart, immensely. It still makes you feel like a failure. Miscarriages Suck.
I’ve been there many times. I’m actually going through one right now, as we speak. It sucks. It hurts. It debilitates you. It strips you… physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
But have faith. God has something better for you. I am living proof of this. As well as so many other mothers who have gone through miscarriages. We are all you. You are not alone. And you WILL get through this.
So until God’s plans reveal itself, here’s a list of 10 things to help you through a miscarriage. There are so many things that can help you through a miscarriage, but these 10 really helped me with all of my miscarriages. I’m certain they will help you through your miscarriage.
Top 10 Things You Need To Help You Through A Miscarriage
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1. Overnight Pads
You will bleed. A lot. You’ll release plenty of clots as your uterus tries to clean itself out. So make sure you have plenty of overnight pads. (I love these pads.) And you might want to give disposable underwear a try. They made a huge difference for me.
2. Pain Medications
Miscarriages hurt. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Having pain medications available can help you deal with the physical pain and discomfort of miscarriages. Most doctors will recommend acetaminophen and ibuprofen. Others may recommend certain herbs. Whatever you choose, get your pain under control. Once you do that, your body will redirect its energy to help stabilize your emotions and mental health.
3. Disposable Chucks or Waterproof Bed Pads
Most women will leak onto their sheets. If you’re like most women, get some disposable chucks, waterproof bed pads, or pet potty training pads. Your body is going through enough. Don’t torture it more by doing laundry. Least of all, your bedsheets.
4. Comfortable Clothes
The first few days/weeks of your miscarriage will take a toll on you. Wearing comfortable clothes will make those tender and raw days a little bit more bearable. For me, it was pajamas and sweats. Whatever you are more comfortable in, expect to wear them a lot.
5. Nutritious Snacks
You will experience a loss of appetite. You just want to sleep or lay in bed. Food will be the last thing on your mind. So make sure you have plenty of nutritious snacks in your pantry or by your bedside. You’ll need something with lots of iron to help with your blood loss, vitamin C to help maintain your immune system, and plenty of fiber to avoid constipation. Some of my favorite nutritious snacks are oatmeal, cream of buckwheat, dates, nuts, bone broth (here’s a great book of bone broth recipes), and plenty of fruits and vegetables.
6. Water to Stay Hydrated
You need to help your body flush everything out and maintain hydration. Drinking plenty of water will help you do that. Coconut water is a great way to stay hydrated. And maybe if you’re up for it, infuse your water with various herbs or produce. I like to infuse my water with cucumbers and mint or basil and lemon.
7. Meal Train or Ready-Made Meals
If you have a big group of people supporting you, ask them to organize a Meal Train. Someone will designate certain people to make/order certain meals on certain days. They will deliver your meals accordingly. Then, all you’d have to do is heat it up when you’re ready. If you do not have a village of people to help you, healthy ready-made meals are just as good. And you can easily get them from grocery stores. We often use Instacart to get our groceries and ready-made meals delivered. If you would like to try Instacart, feel free to use my link to get $10 off your first order.
8. Specimen Collection Pan/Hat or a Specimen Cup
Picture this. You have the urge to use the restroom. You go as you normally would, then something huge releases into the toilet bowl. You think it’s a clot. But it’s not. It’s your sac. It’s your placenta. It’s your baby. You just miscarried your baby into your toilet. Don’t let this happen to you. It happened to me and I still have nightmares about it. Save yourself the trauma and get a specimen collection pan/hat. It will help you collect your baby before you accidentally flush it down the toilet.
9. Record Your Miscarriage
It is healing to take notes of your experience. It helps validate your feelings and emotions. Write it in a paper journal, type into a word document, or record your experience. Whatever. Just get it out. Let the words and emotions flow through your hands and mouth. Let it all out. You never know. You might need those memories sometime in the future to help another mother going through a miscarriage. One of my favorite online shopping finds is this beautiful journal to help you write about your experiences and love for your baby in heaven.
10. Talk to Someone Who’s Gone Through a Miscarriage
Miscarriages can make you feel very lonely. It helps to talk to someone who truly understands how you’re feeling and have lived it, versus someone who’s never experienced a miscarriage. If you don’t know anyone who’s gone through a miscarriage, think again… Most women do not speak about their miscarriages for various reasons. But the moment you speak up about yours and your difficulty healing from it, they will come out of the woodwork and share their experience(s) to try to help you. It happened to me. It was amazing and beautiful. It validated everything.
BONUS TIP: Give Yourself Time to Heal
I cannot stress this enough. It’s been nearly a decade and I still miss my first angel baby. My own mother and mother-in-law had their first miscarriages many decades ago. My mother-in-law will get upset whenever we talk about miscarriages. My mother will cry when she meets anyone who has his name. There is no specific time frame for you to heal. You will heal at your own pace. But keep this mind, the pain of missing your baby will always be with you. As time passes, that pain will become a little less painful. But it will never be gone. Understanding this and accepting this will help you immensely. So be gentle with yourself. Give yourself time. You will heal.
I am so sorry you are going through a miscarriage. If we were talking in person, I’d wrap a warm hug around you. Because I know the internal turmoil you are going through and pray for your healing.
Miscarriage is a very hard thing to go through. But know that you are not alone. There’s a tribe of women who’ve gone through it and will be happy to share their experience(s) with you. You just have to speak up about it.
I sincerely hope the tips I’ve shared can help you through your miscarriage(s). Thank you for allowing me to share with you, my top list of 10 Things You Need To Help You Through A Miscarriage. I hope you find some, if not all of these tips helpful.
If you’ve gone through a miscarriage yourself and have tips to add to my list of 10 Things You Need To Help You Through A Miscarriage, please share them in the comment section below. I know other moms reading this will benefit from your tips as well.
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Stay healthy. Stay Warm. Stay Safe.
Peace & Blessings to you all!
Bahry & The Boys
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